Mean Girls.

My sister and I have a strained relationship at best. She thinks I'm too loud and talk too much and I agree with her, but still think she's louder and talks much more. When people ask us who is older I tell them to guess, they always think it's her because she is much more INTENSE. I usually say I'm the more charming and funny one (although she is charming and funny in her own way...her very own, special way).

My sister 'loves' to call me at my work, a very cacophonous lobby area, where her yelling not only pierces my sensibilities and eardrums, but also manages to fill up the whole space with anger and negativity.

This morning's session was about my Dad's new special friend. Since our Mom passed over a year and a half ago, my Dad made a new friend (one my Sister encouraged him to date, thankyouverymuch). Now she is refusing to go to her house for dessert on Thanksgiving. I know it's freaky and weird and I don't want to go either. The thought of my Dad with anyone but my Mom is just well, freaky and weird. I think it's too soon. But, my Dad is happy and likes her a lot and you know what? It's not about me. I try to relate this information to my sister in the best, most caring "big sister voice" I can muster, but to no avail. She continues to lather herself up, becoming more and more upset each time I try to snap her out of it.

I say that I think of it as an opportunity for us to get to know her better and see the person that our Dad has been spending so much time with. She does not agree. She says she knows her already and even though she told him to date her, even though she says she's happy he's dating and out of the house and even though she thinks she's a nice lady - she just doesn't like her. WHAT THE WHAT?. So now it's dance time. This is the part where I'm supposed to listen to her freak out and scream and sometimes cry, not listen to a word I have to say all the while I'm trying to figure out what the hell is making her so upset when she doesn't even know (actually, I think this may have started with "hello"). I danced a couple of steps and then I told her "I'm done with this conversation" and I hung up. I took a deep breath, lowered my shoulders, breathe again, smile, send love and white light.

Her: Cant even talk bc u habg up as soon as u dont like what u hear u need 2 wake up 2 the reality of it all i live her n i c it everyday
Me: I hung up because I don't like it when you scream at me.
Her: U want reasons n explanation n i have 2 talk over u to get them bc u dont let me talk

First of all, how can you take anyone seriously when they are arguing with you in freaking Prince language? Second, she said herself that she was not able to explain why she was upset, or why she was protesting so much. She just kept saying over and over "I just don't want to go" and "I don't know why I don't like her, I just have a feeling" She mentioned that she already KNOWS her, because of having her as a teacher in the past and babysitting her kids, she is not willing to sit and talk to this person like a normal human being for an hour. She also brought up some old shit about my Dad, had a Freudian slip about being judgemental and then something else. See, I listen.

Why does she wait to call me after she's so pissed she can't even think straight? Or is she just always this pissed? Sometimes it feels like she's a two year old and doesn't know why she's frustrated and I have to be the one to say - Are you hungry, do you need to potty or sleep? But she doesn't like any of those choices so then I'm at a loss and she's still pissed. Frankly, aren't we a little too old for this shit? I mean REALLY.