No pictures, please.

Today is my very own birthday. The day has just flown past me. This morning I woke up and said a prayer of thanks for arriving to this very day. Since then it's been like one of those time-lapse photography moments on a nature show. Get dressed, go to work, grab some breakfast, get a free coffee, talking with co-workers on their smoke breaks, signing for a lunch order and the next thing you know it's 11am. Then I talk to my Dad and order my subscription to Vogue. Then it's my turn to go to lunch. My friend takes me to Macaroni Grill and we get some yummy bread and pasta. The waiter knows we are in a hurry and since I have been telling everyone that it's my birthday, he brings me my cake in a to-go container with a candle in it! How sweet! Another co-worker brings me some cupcakes and yet another brings me some flour less chocolate cake (oh my freaking G.d) and cheesecake that he bought to celebrate his birthday that already passed. I am channelling cake. YAY.

Turns out going home for the holidays was not as bad as I had feared it would be. I arrived early on Thursday and my Dad picked me up from the airport. We went back to the house and just chilled out the whole day. We watched episodes of House together and I had some cereal for breakfast. Thanksgiving dinner was lovely. We walked over to our neighbor's house, someone who actually used to live just up the street from me when I was growing up, and we were made to feel like a part of their family for the holiday. It was really great. The sisters of the hostess remembered my Mom and my aunt and were just so happy to sit and share some special memories with us. There is something very special about hearing those stories, it adds to the repetoire of my memories of this very special person and reminds me that I was not the only one effected by her passing. After dinner it was time to go over to Dad's new lady-friend's house. That was a little weird, to say the least. Both my Dad and I were nervous about going over there, each for our own reasons. My sister threatened to show up, but of course we both knew she would not. We arrived and were greeted by a young man taking out the trash. Then followed him inside (it's her nephew) and were immediately immersed in new lady-friend's family. Sisters and nephews and nieces and good old Mom. She is a trip, that lady. She kept repeating herself and different stories of things that had happened. I thought about that a lot. One of the daughters said something about it later in the night and I said "I think that her remembering is really not a bad thing - I would be more worried if she didn't remember." I think that's what must happen as you get older. You want to keep remembering your life, to confirm that it really happened. To have the people around you, that wacky group of people we call family, acknowledge just how much you have all been through together. I feel like that NOW, so I can imagine what it must be like to be in your 70's or 80's. I really liked her. She thought I was a Doll! Just a Dolly! (and exclaimed so many, many times :)

I would catch my Dad and his lady-friend being a little touchy feelie and it was, to say the least uncomfortable. A part of me is thinking "Where is my Mom? Did they get divorced? Where is she? Why isn't she here?" and then I remember why we are there, and who these people are, and what happened, and my heart sinks a little bit.

They were taking lots of pictures and I just tried to avoid them. I said I didn't like pictures. What I was really thinking was "I don't want any evidence that this happened in case this whole relationship thing doesn't work out". There, I said it. Seriously, though. This is like the third or fourth person my Dad has met and gone out with since the time was time and who knows how long it will last? You've never seen Beyonce and Jay-Z in a video together, right? It's like the video kiss of death for relationships. Just don't do it.

Who's to say that they won't go out for a year and then break up? I know they are all happy and honeymooney now, but you know, that part of the relationship is bound to end at some point and they are going to have to deal with the day to day shit that everyone else around them has to deal with. Or not. Who knows. Maybe they will moon over each other for the next 20 years. I dunno. It's hard to say at this point.

The next day I spent with Dad, we went to the outlet mall and just walked around and then Saturday I got my haircut as that has been my ritual. Dad and I looked for a new towel rack for his bathroom at three places (to no avail) then it was time for me to go, so he dropped me off at the airport. He figured he'd try the last place I recommended and found it there.

My sister and I got along better than normal, but then again, she was gone most of the time. That probably helped.