it's not you, it's me.

I have a good friend at work, she is my stop. That one person you can go to when the day is just crappy and you know they will not only understand, but will help you reframe your problem so it doesn't seem like a problem anymore, but something you can actually handle. She has been having some boundary issues with a co-worker, he doesn't seem to understand them, and it has been getting worse as the time has passed, as problems are wont to do, in an effort to be solved, I suppose.
So she came downstairs and we talked it out. I told her she may just have to tell him to leave her alone. I came up with a couple different options of things to do or say, we went a little off the handle, ahhhh comic relief.
1. No thank you.
2. Listen, I like to go downstairs by myself, I'm sure you understand, just need a moment to be alone.
3. I'm going to have some girl time with the boss of the lobby, no boys allowed.
4. I need to call my hubby, talk to you next time.
5. No, you smell funny.
6. Look, stop following me.
7. Ignore him when he follows you outside. Just ignore him. (this one worked, by the way, but he stuck around to listen to our conversation - not totally effective).
8. No! Punch to the head No! Kick in the groin No! Poke eyes out No! Rabbit punch
9. Take the urn at the end of her desk, bring it down on his head as hard as you can, and then say "Anyone else want to come out for a cigarrette with me?"
10. Bite me.

Although some of these choices are quite violent and also absurd, there is something to be said for following your imagination as far as it will go. Especially for folks like us who have a hard time saying no and wanting to be nice to others even to the point of our discomfort/resentment. The fact of the matter is, they obviously don't get the hint and they don't care about our feelings, so we need to watch out for ourselves. That is what these tests are for. If we were guys, it would simply be a matter of saying something gross or insulting the other man's manlyhood and the guy would just go away. Maybe that would be another option? How is saying something like that any less annoying than the person you dislike following you everywhere?