Teresa.

Me: Good Morning, Company name, how may I direct your call?
Bitch on the phone: Yeah, I need to talk to Teresa.
Me: I'm sorry, I don't have that name on my list.
BOTP: Well, she just called me and left me a message with her name and number and it was your company.
Me: I understand, but I don't have that name on my list of employees.
BOTP: She's in your blah blah department. What about Thad? Does he work there?
Me: Thad who?
BOTP: In your blah blah department with Teresa. He's the blank of blank in the blah blah department.
Me: My list has no titles, no areas, so unless you have the first and last name of the person, it's difficult for me to find them.
BOTP: Isn't your company small enough that you know who they are? Can't you just type in the first three letters of their name on your little program there and find out their last name?
Me: I understand your frustration, Ma'am and I'm trying to help you, but...
BOTP: I don't want you slandering me to them, I want to talk to them before you say anything bad about me.
Me: I am not going to say anything about you, Ma'am, I'm just trying to find out who you need to talk to so that I can transfer your phone call.
BOTP: Because I'm not going to start anything up with you, I don't want you telling them I'm upset because I'm not so don't say anything to them when you transfer me.
Me: Please hold. (I take this time to count to five sllllloooowwwly and rethink my tactic, I know Thad is out of town and she sounded pissed before I even picked up the phone, if you know what I mean). She hung up before I got a chance to transfer her to Thad's voicmail.
There has not been a Teresa here in the two years I have worked here.
WTF.